Movies For Grown-Ups Film Festival

 When I found out I would have the television all to myself this weekend, and no pressing household, social, or work obligations, I knew what I should do - watch movies for grown-ups.

I've been a dad for 16 years. Prior to parenthood, I went out to the movies, with my wife, with friends, alone, 30-60 times a year. Since 2010, it's more like 12-24. A good chunk of those are Marvel and animated movies.

I used to feel guilty or uncool for how few new movies for grownups I saw, how I had little to contribute to Oscars discourse. I've come to terms with this chapter in my life, and I'm slowly returning to my old ways.

But this weekend presented an opportunity. Would I seize it?

First step: I viewed a list of Oscar Best Picture nominees, and pulled together a list of the ones I'd wanted to see forever. Added a few more movies from the top of my mental list.

Second step: I looked them all up on the Roku, and sorted them by "free to stream" and "rent or buy only". There was no way to watch them all, so this was a easy way to cull the list to a reasonable size.

Parasite

A stupendous achievement. Lives up to its reputation. The Best Picture of 2019 by a thousand miles. I've seen two of his movies before, The Host, which left my jaw on the floor at the emergence of a Spielberg-level action director (sorry I never reviewed it here), and Snowpiercer, which addresses many of the same themes as Parasite but within a sci-fi context, with more hatchet fights, and much more on-the-nose symbolically. I knew the premise of the movie, and I'd seen the Simpsons parody, but the movie was not spoiled for me. Filed alongside the all-time great "won't ever watch again" movies.

The Substance

What's the opposite of subtle? Every point it makes it makes so clearly, does the director think I'm a child, or simpleton? There are weird breaks with storytelling logic that work in music videos, but here they just distract me: her home looks like the classic faded movie star glass box cliff view house, but then halfway through the movie they decide she needs a randy neighbor, so suddenly it's an apartment? What apartment on Earth is so modern and stylish with floor to ceiling picture window views of the entire city...and a wood-paneled hallway outside and a non- millionaire neighbor? And how exactly does she build an entire safe room by herself? In what world is there a billboard 100 yards outside her window... pointed away from the view of the city? The Substance is like a Black Mirror episode, padded out to 140 minutes, directed by a French music video director with a big budget. I would have liked it a whole lot better at 100 minutes.

Margin Call

Two scenes from movies about the 2008 housing crisis keep popping up in my Reels, so it was beyond time to actually watch them. An all-star plot heavy movie, Margin Call was gripping and fun, in a white-collar conference room kinda way. I especially appreciate that we never once have to look at numbers on a computer screen, it's all talking. I especially liked Paul Bettany as Will, a junior level guy who is too old to still be at his level - he recognizes that his peer Simon Baker has passed him on the ladder thanks to his shark instincts, and Bettany recognizes his ambition didn't keep up. Seems like Kevin Spacey is spoiled as an actor now, the first third of the movie I assumed he was going to be one of the bad guys, and it turns out he's the moral center of the movie, and I didn't believe it until the movie was over.

The Big Short

Thematically extremely similar to Dumb Money, the movie from eight years later (that I saw two years earlier) a retail-perspective film rebellion against the big banks that nearly fails when the banks change the rules halfway through the game. I don't think much of Adam McKay as a director of movies that Will Ferrell isn't in: I couldn't finish Don't Look Up, and I have no interest in Christian Bale as Dick Cheney or the L.A. Lakers. Christian Bale is great as a numbers genius on the spectrum, but the hair on Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell, and Brad Pitt all looked fake, like they wanted to dilute their movie star-ness and look Real. Everything I liked about this movie I think I'd find in the book it's based on.

Last Christmas

Yes it co-stars two Oscar winners (Emma Thompson and Michelle Yeoh), yes, it's written by a best screenplay Oscar winner (Thompson again, with her husband Greg Wise), and yes, it's directed by Paul Feig, my favorite comedy director of the last 20 years. And it has the word Christmas in the title. But: it's barely a Christmas movie, and it's not a comedy. It kind of feels like they are exploiting the Christmas movie genre to sweeten a otherwise maudlin "quarter-life crisis" drama. I enjoyed the charming neighborhoodie London locations, although I wish they hadn't hosed down the plaza in front of the homeless shelter every single time they shot there so the fairy lights twinkled prettily. I could practically see the stagehand off camera with the garden hose, making sure the plaza was evenly shiny before each take.

Wake Up Dead Man

Wake Up Dead Man is a remarkable achievement. To make a great murder mystery movie like Knives Out, have it be a tremendous success, and then to follow it up with two very different yet similar sequels, that are at least as good if not better. Which of the three you prefer is a matter of taste. I personally like this one the least of the three, mostly because it's the least fun, despite some comedy moments in the first half. And the exposure of the suspects' shortcomings and hypocrisies aren't quite as novel as they were in the previous installments. The comeuppance of the murderer isn't as fun or satisfying as it has been in the past.

Godzilla Minus One

What a terrific Godzilla movie. The monster and the visual effects are great, I'm sure some people think it has too much heart, but the truth is, no Godzilla movie is 100% wall-to-wall battles. 

What Was Left Behind

What movies made my list, but I didn't watch? Movies from my list that are free to stream on my subscription services:

• Past Lives
• Phantom Thread
• Tár

Movies from my list that are available only to rent or buy on my subscription services (I suspect some of these are free on Apple TV, but we don't pay for that one now that Ted Lasso is done):

• American Fiction
• Everything Everywhere All At Once
• Game Night
• Killers Of The Flower Moon
• Lady Bird
• One Battle After Another