Written and directed by the guy who made the excellent 1999 Mummy, Van Helsing rewrites the doctor who knows how to kill Dracula in the Bram Stoker novel into a monster killer for the Vatican, a mysterious, but handsome and troubled loner, who cannot remember the sins of his past life. He wears a big floppy hat and a long leather coat with too many buckles.
I admire the monster supergroup idea behind the story: Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) and his undead brides are behind Doctor Frankenstein's experiments....so they can exploit his invention to bring their flying vampire babies to life.
Two fatal problems with this movie: besides Kate Beckinsale and David Wenham, both of whom are great, the rest of the cast aren't interesting enough to hold my attention. Roxburgh doesn't look like Dracula, and he's just boring. His brides are covered in CGI most of the time, and their melodramatic overacting is impossible to engage with. Kevin J. O'Connor, so effective as Beni the toady in The Mummy, plays Igor, the exact same role here, but this time with a face plastered with appliances. Shuler Hensley plays Frankenstein's Monster with plenty of pathos and a glowing jar of vapor for a skull.
Problem two is the CGI. It's twenty years old and it looks awful and cheap. 2004 was the year of Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow, which at least was innovative; Donnie Darko; Spider-Man 2, and The Prisoner of Azkaban, all of which look better than this.
At least Hugh Jackman doesn't embarass himself. I watched this with my nine-year-old son, and we had fun. My Stub Hubby Grade: D.