December 31, 2008

2008 Year-End Wrap Up

This was not a swell year for movies. The best superhero movie of all time was released, but beyond that, it was pretty weak. The granddaddy of them all (almost literally), they finally made another Indiana Jones movie this year, much to everyone's disappointment. Harry Potter 6 was ready to be released, but they decided to wait until next July. The new James Bond was good but not great. In good franchise news, the new Hellboy and Hulk sequels were both better than the previous movies. And last and least, the funniest man of the 1990s, Mike Myers, tried a live-action comeback in The Love Guru, and no one cared. Thank God 2008 is over!
BEST PICTURE I saw in the theater: The Dark Knight is the best superhero movie ever, and should be nominated for Best Picture by the Academy. I haven't gotten my ballot yet- I feel like they're missing an important voice!
BEST PICTURE I did not see in the theater: WALL•E After I got my neck belched on at Ratatouille, I could not bring myself to go to another children's movie. In December 2008, I watched WALL•E on DVD, and now I wish I had seen those amazing visuals on a big silver screen! Sigh.
MOST ENTERTAINING MOVIE: Iron Man was too short. How often do I say that?
BEST COMEDY: Pineapple Express, way funnier than Tropic Thunder, which cost ten times as much to make.
TEARJERKER AWARD: I cried copiously at Young At Heart. We were just getting to know those nice old folks when they started dropping like flies! Sniff.
REDEMPTION AWARD: Colin Farrell in In Bruges. Who knew that I would care about him ever again?
WORST PICTURE: I saw some of but not all of MAMMA MIA! on DVD. Enough to find Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried's mother and daughter team to be repellent. Who treats their mother or daughter that way? Enough to find the "plot" beyond ridiculous. Enough to wonder why you'd pay to hear those great ABBA songs butchered like bad kareoke. Ugg.
NOTE: These awards may be changed pending any movies I see in 2009 which came out in 2008.

Eleven Movies I Almost Saw In The Theater in 2008
  • Baby Mama: A pleasant romantic comedy, with a cast all 35 plus, including Greg Kinnear as the love interest. I love Tina Fey, and I loved the movie on DVD. No need to spend $10 for this mildly amusing comedy.
  • Charlie Wilson's War had no plot to speak of. It was like a documentary brought to life.
  • Get Smart: let's be serious, I was never going to see this in the theater.
  • Ghost Town: Another mild DVD-level rom-com starring 35+ actors and Greg Kinnear. This time, the beloved cult comic who isn't a big enough star to make me go to the theater is Ricky Gervais.
  • Hancock: Two-thirds of a really good idea. Terrible too-short ending.
  • Leatherheads: Tries to hard to do too much. Could have been better.
  • Prince Caspian: The plot is badly f**ked up. Not recommended.
  • "W": I haven't seen this one yet. I will update this posting once I rent it.
  • WALL•E (see above)
  • X-Files: I Want to Believe: I was a huge fan of the TV show (while David Duchovny was on it), and I quite liked the Fight The Future movie in 1998. I felt it was important to tell you that before I revealed how much I Want To Believe sucked. In this blog, I normally do not review movies I didn't see in the theater, but I want to warn X-philes to stay away. Wow. I can hardly believe that Chris Carter had ten years to write another X-Files movie and this was the result. Avoid this movie at all costs. It has no redeeming value. How can I explain?
    • There's no supernatural elements at all. It's a serial kidnap-killer movie.
    • There's no good reason for Mulder & Scully to reunite to solve this case.
    • They only follow around FBI agents and bicker.
    • They do not really investigate anything.
    • They only find a couple clues.
    • I hate movies where women are kidnapped, imprisoned, tortured, and killed.
    • Did I mention, it's not an X-file at all?
    • It would have been OK as an episode of the TV show, but not good enough for a movie.
  • Zack & Miri Make A Porno: I haven't seen this one yet. I will update this posting once I rent it.