August 16, 2005
August 14, 2005
The sex jokes come hard and fast, with only a few totally juvenile missteps. The caricatured "crazy mean grandma" and "black sheep/gay/tortured artist son" aren't as funny as the rest of the movie. Christopher Walken, as the father of the bride and bridesmaids, strikes just the right tone without going over the top. In a piece of casting-against-type genius, Jane Seymour plays the drunken matriarch, who lures Wilson into a too-close dance, forces him to try out her newly-lifted breasts, and confesses that she has been faithful to her husband for 3 of their 30 years of marriage.
By the way, Owen Wilson, at age 37, looks a little old for the stoner-surfer shag haircut? The lines under his eyes are getting more noticeable these days...
THEATER NOTES: This was a Guys Movie Night where only two guys made it inside the theater. Angus and I arrived early enough to snag seats in the sold-out show, but our friends Phil and Sandor were shut out. Just as the movie was starting, Phil called from the lobby. I unwisely advised him to "just buy a ticket for something else and sneak into the theater- I am sure you can find a seat!" Thankfully he did not take my advice as the theater was packed. (July 29, Loews Boston Common; August 14, Showcase Cinemas Woburn)
- There's a symphony of foul language in Beverly Hills Cop (1984): Axel Foley:You know, you have a very big mouth, sir! Are you hiding something from me? Is that it? I bet you that is your Porsche that's parked front, isn't it? How would you like me to have the IRS come down here and crawl up your ass with a f***ing microscope? They'll do it! I've seen them do it! It's not a pretty sight! I want you to know something, pal! I want ALL of y'all to know something! I can have twenty five agents down here in fifteen minutes to march in here, snatch your bonds out from underneath you and you'd be out of business, PERMANENTLY, if I don't start getting some cooperation! Is that understood?
- Oh, the irony: Stand by Me (1986) features 11-year-olds talking the way real 11-year-olds do, yet the movie is rated R for language, so an actual 11-year old requires a parent or guardian to see the movie.
- A Fish Called Wanda (1988) makes the list for this exchange alone: Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, f***-face, dickhead, ass****. Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you? Otto: You are the vulgarian, you f***!
- Midnight Run (1988) is unwatchable on TV because of great lines like this:De Niro: I never took a payoff in my life and I'm not gonna start with someone like you. Grodin: Why not? De Niro: Because you're a f***ing criminal and you deserve to go where you're going and I'm gonna take you there and if hear any more s*** outta you I'm gonna f***ing bust your head and I'll put you back in that f***ing (train lavatory) and I'm gonna stick your head in the f***ing toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.
- Six words from Heathers (1989): "F*** me gently with a chainsaw." The Heathers could crush the whole "90210" cast with this dialog!
- Only an R rating grants you the artistic freedom to discuss necrophilia, snowballing, and hemaphrodite porn, as Kevin Smith & Co. do in Clerks.
- Let's just say that the phrase "federal pound you in the ass prison" was coined in the movie Office Space (1999)
- The movie South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999) is supposedly one of the most filthy movies of all time. Featuring 146 utterances of "f***" in less than 81 minutes, that's 1.8 "f***s" per minute!
- Wedding Crashers and
- The Forty-Year-Old Virgin
August 3, 2005
Bay employs slow motion without any purpose- it seemed like half the movie was shot in slow motion? I also don't understand the product placement blanketing the sets. I have no problem with the use of product placement in the scenes on the streets of Los Angeles- brand names exist in the real world, after all. I did find it kind of weird that half the vehicles were conspicuously branded (Cadillac, Mack truck) while all the Dodge police cars had their grille logos removed. I found it distinctly odd that all the consumer items within the clone colony were paid placements- Puma sneakers, Aquafina water, XBox video games? Why would these clones, who are complete drones of the company, who have no concept of money, who will never see the outside world, merit brand-name anything? Why everyone would get brand name sneakers and bottled water is beyond me.
I think Bay is a successful movie director because he can helm giant-scale movie productions, which people will buy tickets for, if the studio spends enough money promoting them. The actual movies Bay directs are not as important as the presentation of the idea of the movie to the public. If you can sell the idea to moviegoers, and then deafen them with explosions and blind them with kinetic energy, they'll tell their friends how "good" the movie was. A combination of no big-name stars + less than astronomical promotion kept this movie from recouping its certainly astronomical budget. (Loews Boston Common, with my friend Laura)