October 9, 2012

The Robot Arm Was Early Today

8:10am, my son sounded the alarm.
"I hear the robot arm! The robot arm is coming!"
This is not the opening scene to a sci-fi movie. The "robot arm" is mounted on our new town garbage truck. Two minimum-wage jumpsuit-jockeys have been replaced with a giant robotic arm: the robot arm can collect all the garbage, and the driver never has to get out of the truck. Needless to say this is the coolest thing a two-year-old has ever seen, and I think it's pretty neat too.
Unfortunately, the robot arm was early this week, and I hadn't rolled our toter to the curb yet. I literally had this week's kitchen garbage bag in my hand when I heard the diesel engine. I ran downstairs in my shorts and tee shirt, and just barely caught the guy before he passed us by.
All this got me thinking about COMMANDO.
At the opening of the movie, Arnold is a retired black ops soldier, and his fellow squad members are being assassinated. One of his men is asleep at dawn when he and his wife hear the diesel truck engine down the street. They belatedly realize that they haven't taken the trash out yet. The guy dumps the kitty litter in the bag, and hustles down the driveway in his bathrobe and slippers to catch the truck before it passes them by.
The truck is backing up to the end of the guy's driveway. Two garbage men are hanging off the back.
"I thought you'd miss me." the man says.
One garbageman pulls the bandana off his face.
"We won't."
 The two garbage men (actually villainous ex-soldiers / hitmen- that's Bill Duke [right]) shoot the guy to death, then dump their weapons into the back of the truck and drive away.
What was their plan to murder this guy exactly?
  • Steal a garbage truck
  • Drive to the target's house
  • Hope that the truck's engine noise wakes him up
  • Hope that he realizes that he's hearing the garbage truck
  • Hope that he forgot to take out the garbage the night before
  • Hope that he decides to race out to the curb with his trash?
I guess it's possible that their plan was to park the garbage truck in front of his house, trudge up the driveway, break in, murder the guy, then walk back to the truck and drive away?
They must have been thrilled when the guy ran down to meet them out front. Saves them all that walking.
NOTE: Thanks to Legion's Fate blog for the screen caps. His weapon-centric plot synopsis is terrific, and funny too.