August 18, 2006

Snakes on a Plane

snakesSoaP delivers exactly what it promises-- lots of muthafarking snakes on a muthafarking plane! With no pretensions of meaning, class, or talent, this movie was a pure, focused, intense piece of entertaining garbage. Just to illustrate-- the first to get snakebit on the plane are a couple having sex in the lavatory-- the woman gets bit on the tit. Reminiscent of The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down, without the expensive stunts and special effects. Most of the stunts involved C-list actors pretending to be attacked by CGI snakes. Most of the effects include b-level fake snakes, and lost of gross snakebites: swelling, pus, slime, etc. All SoaP was missing was that one final over-the-top coup de grace, like when Jon Voight is vomited up in Anaconda. I would have had more fun in a packed theater, but strangely, there were only maybe a dozen other patrons at my screening on a Friday evening. Grade: A. (Showcase Cinemas, Randolph)

Other Premise-Describing Movie Titles (both real or imagined)