June 16, 1991

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Even the scene-chewing hilarity of Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham cannot redeem Kevin Costner as Robin Hood.
Sheriff of Nottingham: [to a wench] You! My room. 10:30 tonight. [to another wench] You. 10:45...[looks her over] ...and bring a friend.

June 1, 1991

Soapdish

Celeste Talbert: I realize I'm not a young woman; however, could you PLEASE point out to our new costume designer that I don't feel quite right in a turban. What I feel like is GLORIA FUCKING SWANSON! What am I, seventy, David, am I seventy? Why don't you just put me in a walker? Buy a goddamn walker and put me in it!